Friday, September 16, 2005

SNAGGLED


My Snaggle Regimen
No smiling.
No kissing.
Do not touch me.
Do not even look at me sideways.

My Five Day Snaggle Diet
No hot foods
No cold foods
No solid foods
If I can't eat it, I'm not cooking it.

Afraid to chew.
Straws are my friends.
Straws

I even bought some JELL-O.
Then I researched gelatin and now I am not sure I want to eat JELL-O. Gelatin is made by boiling down collagen (a protein) found in the connective tissues of animal skin, ligaments, and bones. Bones consist of calcium phosphate and a load of stringy proteins, which is why bones are harder to crack than limestone. If you boil bones in acid to dissolve out the calcium phosphate they go all floppy and jiggly. There is a description of how to make gelatin here if you dare to read it. And you may be wondering if JELL-O is Kosher? And don't even think about marshmallows.

Maybe I'll make pudding.
Chocolate pudding sounds good.

Dental evaluation on Monday.

BTW, my dentist says I can eat anything I want but I am afraid.
(at least it doesn't hurt, at least it doesn't hurt)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

My dear, we ALL feel for you. I bit down on a McD hamburger 20 years ago and split my front tooth all the way up. I suffer from soft teeth too. I send you an eyes-closed hug.
annie p.

Anonymous said...

Hail, the Gators won, you can eat anything you want. and still you're whining? Get real. Jeez, Louise...