Monday, September 19, 2005

Dangerous Self Diagnosis

It's official. W4D has tossed his hat into the proverbial ring. I think any dude who wears a hat this cool should be a politician. Besides, DH would make a very fair and informed town councilman.


W4D has had this hat for 22 years but you can buy a dandy Scrooge hat at
Berkley Hats. They have all kinds of cool hats that make me wish I was a "hat person." While I'm not a hat person, I do have a tuffet and a wardrobe of tiaras. How many couples do you know that own a top hat and a tuffet? It occurs to me that perhaps we are eccentric.

Some not quite terrifying news this morning, Robin the Wonder Dentist says I don't need a root canal and that while I will require a crown, there may be enough tooth left to secure it and if not, I can have a pin instead of a rod. I have a couple rods already in my jawbone so a pin sounds better if it comes to that. I didn't even ask the gory details. The less I know, the better.

On the way home, I stopped at Cloud Nine Spa to have my nails done for a Katrina Relief Fundraiser. I felt guilty doing such a fussy girly thing when people have lost everything but I needed to have a manicure before the wedding anyway and why not donate that money? Normally, Cloud Nine is closed on Monday but everyone was there working for free and 100% of the money collected from services and tips today goes to Katrina Relief. I left a big tip and even bought a bake sale item. People were also giving blood but I didn't think I should drive home already ditzy on dental Xanax after giving blood. Besides, the Blood Mobile will be right here at the park across the street in town tonight. They always want DH's blood since he is Type B. I'm just a normal old A Positive but my blood is very rich in iron, cabernet and tranquilizers. I bet some old rheumy wino with tourettes would benefit greatly from a transfusion from me.

Feeling a little tacky for making that last comment, I looked up symptoms of Tourette Syndrome and found that I have the following in common:

  • Obsessions and compulsions (ask my husband)
  • Quick temper, mood swings, over-reaction (My husband would really like to discuss this with you)
  • Echolalia -the urge to repeat other's words (loudly and repeatedly, I might add)
  • Echopraxia -the urge to mimic other's actions (obnoxiously and wickedly)
  • Palilalia -the urge to repeat your own words or thoughts (ad nauseum!)
  • The person with Tourette Syndrome is always warm and has an unusual sensitivity to heat. In hot weather, the person boils, in cold weather they wear much less heavy clothing than would be expected. (verified by everyone who knows me)
  • Heightened sensitivity to light (especially flickering light but I have mostly 25 watt bulbs in my house and slip around and turn down others' lights when I visit my friends)
  • Polydipsia - Excessive water drinking. Excessive and constant thirst usually associated with disease i.e. diabetes. (Do alcoholic drinks count?)
  • Sleeping Difficulties - Many of those that we experience with Tourette Syndrome seem to either one; sleep long and too much, or not very much at all. They may even fight sleep until exhaustion takes over and they don’t have a choice. I rarely have met any in-between. (I can never EVER sleep more than 3 to 4 hours a night without help.)
  • Tourette women go bra-less because they are too uncomfortable otherwise. (It's a tactile torture thing and I have been known to rip them off while screaming obcenities. Unless it is a wedding or a funeral, I refuse to wear one and when I must, it comes off ASA I am back in the car)
  • Tactile offenders could be: stiff tags, stiff fibers (e.g., jeans), seams in socks, waistbands and belts, jewelry, hairbands, synthetic fibers. (I cannot wear socks, scarves, hats, hairbands, etc. I cannot bear being bundled up in anything, no matter how cold it is)

OMG! I have Tourette Syndrome. That explains a lot.


Anonymous said...

This is by FAR your best post EVER! This tell us SO much about what makes you ... you. And yet we love you anyway! And guess what? I have now confirmed that I TOO have Tourettes! Thank you, Dr. Flaurella, for putting it into easily understandable layman's terms.
annie p

Flaurella said...

Yes, my secret is out. There is finally a medical explanation for my loud and obnoxious, foul-mouthed self, the insomniac, bra burner who's always craving a drink. I've been exposed.

HellooOooo world.