Nursing Typhoid Harry

I'm back from my annual physical having been poked, prodded, palpitated, stabbed, and my every orifice invaded and ogled. I got out of the bone density testing until June but suffice to say that I have been through the wringer today so afterwards, I treated myself to a little shopping. I looked at hundreds of pairs of cute shoes and didn't buy any, not a single pair! Am I a good girl, or what? I admit that I kept thinking about the 8 or 10 shoeboxes in my closet that I haven't even opened yet so instead, I will be surprised tomorrow since I have forgotten all the adorable kicks I already bought and have yet to wear. I'll go shoe shopping in my own closet and it won't cost me a dime.

I arrived home to find the too pitiful, too ill to work, probably contagious, hacking and spewing W4D on the couch, blanket up to his chin, whimpering like a little girl. Why is it that most men are such babies when they get even the slightest malady? I'd like to grab him by the shoulders, shake him violently and scream, "Snap outta it!" But instead, on my way home from town, I stopped by the drug store, sashayed down the cold and flu aisle with one of those handy blue tote baskets, scooping up every pain med, cold remedy, sore throat and flu medicine, symptom reliever known to modern man. Upon arrival home, I medicated The Lubricator with a selection of varied products from Walgreen's and myself with a lovely shaker of icy vodka martini's. I wasn't here all day so I still have a bit of patience left but heaven help him if he doesn't feel well enough to go back to work tomorrow.

I am at 50 hours on my liquid diet but I plan to eat something I can chew later this eve for supper. I'm thinking a little filet mignon and fresh asparagus will be tasty. I bet you that the manly man will not opt for soup two nights in a row. He may be weak -- practically on his death bed in his own mind, but The Lube will not pass up steak and potatoes and fresh asparagus. Ha! I have some fresh strawberries, too. I imagine he won't turn down a little vitamin C either. I bet I can even get him to watch the finale of Project Runway with me. He doesn't dare complain after all the humiliations I have endured today.

Here are some photos from my yard yesterday. The azaleas are blooming again for the second time. The first time, a hard freeze killed everything in bloom but it was early enough that our plants all put on new sets of buds. Just in case you haven't guessed, I love spring. Who could resist all this pink?


Click any picture for a larger view.