A pirate walks in to a bar, he has a ship's wheel sticking out of the fly on his pants. The bartender says, "Uh, sir, do you realize there is a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?" And the pirate says, "Arrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
Partial Post Re-Run from Flaurella: July 2005:
... We sat down and while looking at our menus, promptly order two vodka martinis, up and dirty. They arrived very quickly and we raised our glasses in a salute eager for a taste of what is to us, mother's milk. Right here, I shall insert our supposition that a day without a fine martini totally sucks. Anyway, we raised our glasses in unison to express our joy of not being raisins who require walkers or someone to read us the menu, and we each took a big, and highly anticipated, refreshing swig.
Do you know that face that you must make when you drink pure pickle juice? That puckery, dour, pruney face that automatically ensues after you taste something so salty or sour that your face automatically retracts, recoils and contorts into an anus of wrinkles about the mouth while at the same time, one eye repulsively squints shut in salty and shocked disbelief?? Well, that's the look we both had on our faces but W4D, aka The Lubricator, also immediately spurted out a beautifully executed, perfectly pirateous, "ArrrrGGGGggghhh!" just like a Johnny Depp shipmate in "Pirates of the Caribbean." Yes, the spousal unit was for once, far more vociferous than I, who just sat there with a stunned look on my face, lips pursed, brows puckered, unable to gather enough saliva to form words.
"Arghhhh! Ye Mateys," expounded W4D, as he crooked a brow, made a terrible pirate face and took another big sip. Now, right now, I can inform you, I would not drink more of that foul, dirty martini but DH, not to be deterred by really bad brine, took another sip.
"ArgggGGGGhhhHHHh!!" he bellowed again!
For some reason, possibly that I was still totally hungover from a lovely dinner and drinking session at Cathy and David's the night before, this struck me as terribly funny and I could not stop laughing. I immediately slid my toonie over toward DH (he'll drink anything) and called the waitress to order some Chardonnay as a better substitute while we ate.
Dinner was delish but every time DH took a sip of martini, he crooked that eyebrow, puckered, and I giggled like a fool. Don't ask me why he didn't send them back. I wouldn't have drank that crap for love nor money.
To read the whole re-run, click here.