Monday, July 18, 2005

Argh! Ye Mateys!

No, nope, no sir, no m'am, haven't read the latest Harry Potter book and I don't intend to do so. I tried previously on several occasions since my daughter and many of my friends love the series. I even tried to watch the films on cable but they just don't appeal to me. However, I am delighted that a book, any series of books, so captures the attention and imagination of the public. It is wonderful to see people getting so excited about reading.

I am typing as I drink my second perfect Sapphire Martini with the perfect garlic olive. I make excellent martini's; vodka or gin, plain or exotic. I can't say the same for many bars and restaurants.
On Sunday, we drove down to "Slow-cala," (Ocala, Florida) and battled the "raisins" out on State Road 200, the main mall area, and then popped into the Sam's Super Store (like a Costco in other areas of the country). We browsed through an amazing amount of merchandise and had fun people watching and looking for bargains but when it was time for Sunday dinner, every restaurant was so dammed crowded at 4:00 PM on SR 200 with the early bird raisins from On Top of the World and Spruce Creek and the many retirement areas west of Ocala, that we gave up trying to get into a restaurant on the main drag and headed to old, downtown Ocala for a more gentle, a quieter dinner at Harry's Bar and Grille on the Square.

We eat at Harry's in Gainesville and St. Augustine all the time. It's a local southern chain of New Orleans style food so we thought the Ocala storefront would be fine, and after all, we know the menu. The service was dandy and the food was as good as usual but the bartender needed some education.

We sat down and while looking at our menus, promptly order two vodka martinis, up and dirty. They arrived very quickly and we raised our glasses in a salute (not clicking, of course), eager for a taste of what is to us, mother's milk. Right here, I shall insert our supposition that a day without a fine martini totally sucks. Anyway, we raised our glasses in unison to express our joy of not being raisins who require walkers or someone to read us the menu, and we each took a big, and highly anticipated, refreshing swig!

Do you know that face that you must make when you drink pure pickle juice? That puckery, dour, pruney face that automatically ensues after you taste something so salty or sour that your face automatically retracts, recoils and contorts into an anus of wrinkles about the mouth while at the same time, one eye repulsively squints shut in salty and shocked disbelief?? Well, that's the look we both had on our faces but DH, (aka, W4D, aka The Lubricator), also immediately spurted out a beautifully executed perfectly pirateous, "ArrrrGGGGggghhh!" just like a Johnny Depp shipmate in "Pirates of the Caribbean."

Yes, the spousal unit was for once, far more vociferous than I, who just sat there with a stunned look on my face, lips pursed, brows puckered, unable to gather enough saliva to form words.

"Arghhhh! Ye Mateys," expounded W4D, as he crooked a brow, made a terrible pirate face and took another big sip.

Now, right now, I can inform you, I would not drink more of that foul, dirty martini but DH, not to be deterred by really bad brine, took another sip.

"ArgggGGGGhhhHHHh!!" he bellowed again!

For some reason, possibly that I was still totally hungover from a lovely dinner and drinking session at Cathy and David's the night before, this struck me as terribly funny and I could not stop laughing. I immediately slid my toonie over toward DH (he'll drink anything) and called the waitress to order some Chardonnay as a better substitute while we ate.

Dinner was delish but every time DH took a sip of martini, he crooked that eyebrow, puckered, and I giggled like a fool. Don't ask me why he didn't send them back. I wouldn't have drank that crap for love nor money.

I still like Harry's Bar and Grille, and the service us usually fine. I have had fab drinks and puckery toonies from the briny deep but I've always enjoyed myself there, even when they don't give me Mardi Gras beads.

While I think if it, I found a new taste treat at the grocery yesterday. Am anxious to try it tonight and will report tomorrow. Happy Monday! (If you are reading this before I get the links hooked up, come back later. Damn! I hate Mondays! I can never keep up to speed.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you have been eavesdropping on my Harry Potter comments. I too will NOT be reading the books, no matter WHO tells me how great they are because, quite frankly, they are children's books and I have been reading adults books for over 30 years. I also though have been thrilled not just to see kids and ANYBODY go crazy to pick up a book, but 500 and 600 page books. It is a great thing for this country. Too bad the author isn't an American. Of course, we are so scared of things like the demon based holiday Halloween and other strikes against SOME of the religions in this country to have someone be able to write a book like this and have it gain any type of following. I will get off my soapbox now.
annie p

Flaurella said...

I'm thrilled that Harry P. is a success but if anyone gives me a copy, I shall be forced to use it as a doorstop.

No offence to the devotees, including my family and friends, but it doesn't do a thing for me. I'd rather read old DOS manuals.