Monday, February 27, 2006

You Wanted to Know

It's time to answer a few Flaurella queries. Searchers and seekers are welcome here and I will try my best to assist if you leave a comment, email me or rummage through my blog.

Welcome chicken pounders.
Maybe you weren't looking for the kind of instructions I am sharing?

Hello pink panty searchers. A single "panty" is spelled as shown. The plural of "panties" is as spelled within this sentence. Yes, we have no pantie. There are no pantie here. I feel your pain.

No, I don't know how many calories are in cheese ravioli with vodka sauce. Frankly, after I eat it, I just don't care.

I'm sorry, I only know one muffin joke but it
the best one there is.

Ski porno voyeurs, sorry the Olympics are over. I still don't have any ski porno for you.

Yes, I would personally chill the Paisano. This is Florida. We chill everything we drink.

Yes, our darling pooch is named after Mr. Shariff. They both have big, brown expressive eyes but our dog is not Egyptian. He is half Chinese and half French. He prefers to pretend he is pure Chinese but he can bark in French.

No, I do not wear panty hose to the dentist. Come to think of it, I don't wear panty hose anywhere except to funerals and weddings. And no, I do not wish to bring any legal action against my dentist. Just because I am dentaphobic doesn't mean I want to sue her. ....Yes, a tiara is a sort of a "crown."

Yes! Everyone should drink Bosca Raspberry Sparkletini. It's yummy.

Sadly, to my knowledge, there are no longer any restaurants in Biloxi over the Gulf. Hurricane Katrina blew them all to smithereens but they will be rebuilt. Biloxi didn't whine or complain, they just got right back to taking care of business and rebuilding their lives and their city. I salute Biloxi and all of coastal Mississippi!

Yes, it's a catchy song, that "Sunshine and Lollipops" ditty. No, I didn't go to school with Leslie Gore. Is she still alive? ... The rest of you lollipop seekers wanting those large suckers to go with your adult baby doll pajamas and giant cribs should go to the local candy store at the mall. I don't know where you can buy those huge lollipops that will match your size XXXL nylon babydolls.

No, my W4D (What's For Dinner?) isn't the same as W4Dogma but you are welcome to snag my hubbie's photos if you wish. Yes, they are FREE.

Sure! Some day, I will be happy to make the time to take pictures when I roll chimichangas.

No, I don't think they have Goo Goo Clusters in Argentina but you never know. If you find them there, drop me a note!

Mr. Carlson may have thought so but no, turkeys cannot fly, at least not more than a few feet up to a tree limb.

Please! Do not consider making my divine neighbor's bovine into beef jerky. Actually, we make our own jerky every now and then in the McCullor's smoker but we do not personally know the divine bovine that we smoke..

No, I do not really have classic Tourette's Disease and yes, I love harp music, and no, it does not aggravate the Tourette's that I do not have.

Yes, my DH, the infamous Lubricator, AKA W4D, is really and truly a grocery shopaholic. I have confiscated his ATM card and he is currently undergoing FAST (Flaurella Anti-grocery ShockTherapy). I am not kidding.

Why are so many of you constantly searching for "hurt bunnies?" :((

Yes, Yes, YES!
We do grow 'em big here.

Anus perverts, please just leave. Enough already. You can buy all the ginger root you want or need at your local green grocer.

And now, to erase any anal retentive images I may have conjured, here's a picture that I took of a pretty Alstroemaria lily, speaking of which, I emptied all the vases of flowers today. Hint, hint.

Alstroemaria Blossom

Happy Monday!


Kim said...

Well Hello Flaurella! Thanks for stopping by my site and leaving the funniest comment I've gotten in a very long time...

I get so many visitors from weird search engine queries, fun stuff like "dip+in+shit" and "make+you+crap+yourself". I'm not sure if it's my liberal use of the word shit or what, but I'm quite sure the seekers aren't happy with the result.

Nice to meet you and thanks for stopping by again! I've blogrolled you btw, nice blog!

Sanne said...

You just made my day! :)

lots of e-hugs
from cold and snowy Denmark

Flaurella said...

Thanks, Kim! I've been meaning to link you to my blog. Will do so ASAP.

Yes, people do search for some really weird things. I still don't understand why anyone wants to hurt bunnies.

Love your blog! It always makes me laugh.

Flaurella said...

Hope I made you giggle, Sanne. I won't tell you how beautiful it is here with spring sunshine and wamth. If it would stay like this with cold nights and 72 degree days, I would be so happy.

Sending you sunshine from Florida!

Garey said...

This can't have effect in actual fact, that is exactly what I consider.
strategy games online | manhattan hotel new york | 18k gold chain