The Campaign Trail

Every evening after work, W4D has been out "campaigning." He is gone for an hour or two every evening during the cocktail hour and I have to have my martoonie in solitude. I get bored so I usually drink two.

W4D says he is surprised at how quickly people invite him inside their homes. He says when it was hot, everyone's house was freezing cold with AC and when it is cold like the last three days, everyone has the heat blasting and many people have colds. Since the Lubricator and I live in an 1885 house without central heat or air, we tend to deal with the seasonal temperatures by opening or closing windows and adding or taking off layers of clothing. We never get ill and I have always sworn it is because we live within our temperate environment. The Lube is now a believer. I almost didn't say, "I told you so."

I wanted to know about constituent footwear. What sort of footwear do people wear in these overly climate controlled houses? Do they have on cute shoes at home? Are they wearing slippers or socks or tennis shoes? Does anyone wear June Cleaver heels? W4D had to think about that question for a moment. He eventually declared he has never looked at his constituents' feet since he always looks them "right in the eye." :::rolling mine:::: I ask you, how can you spend time with someone and not notice their shoes? It must be a man thing.

I am tired of folding letters, stuffing envelopes, checking addresses and affixing stamps. The other two candidates sent their campaign letters as folds without envelopes but we are sending ours in plain vanilla envelopes. Yesterday, W4D asked me after I folded and stuffed his letters if I would lick all of his envelopes. Excuse me? Have you never heard of a sponge? I wonder how many peeps still lick envelopes? Not very sanitary. And, what a PITA it was to sponge seal all those envelopes. I sent the candidate to the office supply store today for pressure sensitive envelopes for the rest of the letters. Sheesh.

Did you know that you must have an info-blurb on the bottom of campaign letters that includes the stated approval of content by the candidate and the source of the funds that pays for the letter and postage? W4D's letter has been completed and printed for about two weeks. While we have already received the campaign letters from the other two esteemed candidates, I have just today mailed the first batch of The Lubricator's letter. I'll finish tonight and tomorrow all will be posted. The Lube thinks it will be best if his letter arrives as the last one while I tend to think it looks like he is slow to respond. Of course, that is not true. It's his campaign and I am just a bystander, his lowly gopher, his very own intern in a blue dress - err... in blue jeans.

Had it been me running for Town Council, I would have used brightly colored stationary, had gaudy, sparkling posters and loud lawn signs printed. I would have hosted a beer fest with an oompah band or maybe a wine and cheese party. I would have had a clever slogan and worn cute shoes. W4D is very low key, patient and steady. I am like a Roman candle that shoots off sparks, blazes across the sky and then burns out. He makes a good candidate. I make a fun intern.